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You've tried everything else, what harm could it do?
These candles are guaranteed to work!*
* ...but if they don't, rinse with boiling water, fill with whiskey and toast to a good try.
My son, who is a degreed linguist, had asked for the deskpad for Christmas, but at the time they were out of stock. So just for fun, after Christmas was over, I bought him the Linguist Desk Pad. He reports that he loves it, and it looks good at his work station. High praise! So for any linguist or linguistics-lover in your life, I highly recommend the Linguistics Mouse or Desk Pad!